Strength

Strength is such a misunderstood word. When we hear that word we think unbreakable, but to me, strength means something else. You can cry and still be strong. You can ask for help and still be strong. You can take a minute to let yourself fall apart and STILL be strong. In fact, I believe all those things are what make us stronger. Sometimes the things or the way we do things are no longer beneficial to us and it’s ok to acknowledge and change that. It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to not know. It’s ok to not have it all figured out. Strength comes in many forms. And doing the things that don’t necessarily seem strong in other’s eyes are the very things that make you stronger and better in your own life.

So, today if you need a little more strength look deep within and I bet you’ll realize that you are way stronger than you thought you were. Happy hump day beautiful people. Only 2 workdays to go! ✊🏽💪🏼

Peace

Good morning beautiful people. As the holiday draws closer the word anxiety seems to be the list. Anxiety from many different things such as work, travels, providing for our family, health. Etc. Whatever it is that you got you worried try not to stress. Today’s reminder to you all is to peace.

Peace to trust that everything will work out ok. Peace to know you are doing your best in whatever situation you are in and that is enough. An anxious mind and a worried heart bring nothing but frustration and chaos. So, as we set the tone in our households and at work let us first set it in our minds and our hearts by giving ourselves some much-needed peace of mind.

You can’t give what you don’t have and the people we encounter on the daily draw from our energy. Let us radiate nothing but good vibes and positive thoughts. Have a good day y’all. Be blessed and stress less.

Don’t give up!

I stood in the kitchen fixing my morning breakfast and suddenly the words to this song that I LOVE popped up in my mind. For those who don’t know me, music speaks volumes to my soul. Its how I get my inspiration. If you ever want to know what mood I’m in just pay attention to what I’m listening to. Anyways, as the lyrics play out in my mind my purpose instantly became clear. Now I don’t know about anybody else.. but as for me. I’ve already decided that 2020 is going to be my year. Radical changes are going to happen in MY life because I plan on making them happen. I had some plans that I’ve already started working on in 2019 that I’m planning on finishing in 2020. I call it vision 2020 🙌🏾😍
The reason I’m so hyped about this song is this. I’ve been trying to rearrange some stuff around to fit my dreams into my life. Because it came clear to be in 2019 that I have to be the one to create the life I want to live. And as a woman, a mother, an employee, and now a wife. My roles and responsibilities are tremendously high. And it can be hard at times to keep those dreams alive and act on them. However, I’ve decided that this year I’m going to make time to have my dreams come to life. Because my dreams are not just about me. They are about my daughter, my nieces, my nephews, my sisters, my friends, and everyone who I come in contact with. They are a legacy waiting to be birth. And it’s time I birth them. This post isn’t me bragging about my plans. This post is me challenging EVERYONE reading this to do the same. BIRTH your dreams. Make time to fulfill your calling. You never know who might be watching you and following in your footsteps. Make 2020 be YOUR vision year also!!! You can do it!!! Go back to school, lose the weight, start that new job, open your business, write a book. Whatever plans you had on the back burner, bring them forward, Now!!!! 🗣🗣🗣
Now I’m going to tag some of my go-getters. And y’all can tag your go-getters. Let’s end 2019 with lots of hope and let’s own 2020!!
Before I go let me share these lyrics with y’all cause I feel like they the bomb. Enjoy! And be blessed!! 🤗
“Visions that can change the world
Trapped inside an ordinary girl
She looks just like me
Too afraid to dream out loud
… And though it’s set for your idea
It won’t make sense to everybody
You need courage now
If you’re going to persevere
… To fulfill your divine purpose
You’ve gotta answer when you’re called
So don’t be afraid to face the world
Against all odds
… Keep the dream alive don’t let it die if something deep inside
Keeps inspiring you to try, don’t stop
And never give up; don’t ever give up on you
Don’t give up”
Yolanda Adams never_give_up✊🏽

Resilient or not??

Resilience. What sets us apart? The great debate between nature vs nature has summed it all up under two umbrellas. But… what if there are factors we have yet to consider? Factors that should not be summed up as one but explored as individual factors. Factors such as beliefs, mindset, and willpower. Maybe it’s not a nature vs nature debate. Maybe, it’s factors, age, maturity, and perspective. Maybe it’s what we want and how hard we are willing to fight for it. Maybe we are made differently, obviously. Our DNS’s are different. We experience the world differently. We are raised and taught differently. Our circumstances are different, our reactions are different. They are individualized according to who we are. So why is it that we sum up the most important if questions with just two answers, when the answer itself changes, varies, and is tricky. Are we taught resilience? Do we grow into it? Are we born predisposed? Absolutely! But that’s not enough. Some of us do learn, and some never do. But why? What makes it so hard. Is life more unfair to some? Or is it simply how we see and experience it that shapes the outcome? I believe so. I think mindset and will power are two of the most important qualities needed for resilience. But how do we get them? As we grow. As we experience. As we live. As we do. And coping skills also play a huge part. We learn to cope in different ways. Some people write, some people sing. Some of us smoke, drink, or simply ignore. None of which is right or wrong only said individual can determine what works and what doesn’t. It becomes right or wrong if it’s not working and is actually causing said person more harm than good. Resilience is tricky. And it changes. We may even call it different things. But truth be told, we are all resilient in different ways. Some just find it sooner than others and some have a little more than others according to their circumstances. So, the next time you are feeling a little defeated and you think “man I wish I was as resilient as that person” just look yourself in the eye and say “damn it I am”. You got this! You can overcome and you will. Think back to a time when you were a complete badass and own that feeling. You’ll be just fine, I promise! Dig deep, believe, and get it done. I believe in you!

Master reset

Time. The one thing we can’t seem to get enough of. Yet we never seem to know how to make the most of. Timing, the teaser of it all. It shows up with unexpected things like pain, regret, doubts, and a bunch of what ifs. We never seem to know if we are getting it right or not. We go with the flow as best as we can. Until the flow stops and we are forced to reconsider. To question, to try again. And Dear Ole Time seems to always be the center of it all. Our dreams and life goals are set on a time schedule of when we think we ought to accomplish them. But what when Dear Ole Time says otherwise? Do we scramble around in panic mode? Do we question our worth, our effort, and all our other accomplishments? What if the thing you wanted the most don’t show up when you expected it to? Did Dear Ole Mister Time rob you once more?

The answer is no! Things rarely go accordingly to plan. Life is tricky and it’s constantly changing. As players in this game adaptability will be our greatest friend. We have to learn to let go and stop getting stuck on how we believe things ought to be. We are no master of time, that is not our job. We can set dreams, make goals, and work towards them. But never ever get bent out of shape if they start to change. If the timing is haywire then just try to keep up. Don’t question all you’ve done. You worked extremely hard to get where you are and that was no easy feat. The timing of it all doesn’t seem to pan out accordingly, but that doesn’t mean you have to call it off entirely. Sometimes we just need to take a minute to reset, reevaluate, and reflect on what is to come. Because sometimes Mister Timing has something far more exciting waiting for you. ❤️

What if??

Do you know what it’s like to have a song on replay for days at a time because the lyrics resonate so deep in your soul? Or trying to convince yourself that’s it’s no longer worth the pain to put yourself out there. To believe that not everyone was not meant to find someone. Mmmm well, what if they weren’t? What if I tell you that not everyone will find someone? What if I tell you that the only person you truly need is yourself and self-love is the purest and most desired? Sounds cliche I know. But really it is as simple and straight forward as that. The sad part is, only a few have truly grasped the concept of self-love. Only some find real happiness in spending quality time trying to figure out who they truly are. And not very many know what they really want or is bold enough to demand or seek it. Just think how different the world would be if women were less self-conscious and men weren’t expected to show real genuine emotions. If gender roles, stereotypes and double standards were nothing but a thing of the past. If society didn’t try to sell us on what exactly an appropriate and happy lifestyle is. Now I’m not saying we don’t need general rules like stop light and brakes. Don’t get too crazy now. I’m saying if people weren’t sold into these lies and illusions about how to live THIER lives then the world would be a much better place.

Race of life

For the last couple of months, I’ve been struggling with something. And I can just now sum it up to this “know the importance of your race”. Know when you need to slow down, speed up, and when to tag off. Notice I said off, not out. This is important. See, what I realize is most of us is running a race. It’s called the race of life. Some are running at a faster pace than others, and that’s cool. They may have started earlier or they have a shorter race. But for me, I believe I’m running a marathon. And not just any marathon. I have teammates. So it’s more like a relay. There are some parts of life where you have to run alone for long periods. This is when you are being tested. Your endurance, your mindset, your very character. Do you want it bad enough to keep going? Then there are times where you can run slow. Things are going at a nice steady pace. You got some cruising time. Traffic seems light and everything is flowing just right. Enjoy these times. They are boosters. Reserve your energy because you will need it for the next round. The round where you have to go faster. Things have picked up and are moving rapidly. Sometimes you feel like you are lost in the shuffle. Everybody seems to have run ahead of you. And you start to wonder about whether or not you can keep up. Keep going. You’ll be just fine. Now, this is the part most don’t talk about. Maybe because we don’t do it often enough, tag off. This is one of the important parts of a race. Whether you are handing off or receiving you have to pay close attention so the battalion doesn’t fall. If it does, you are out plain and simple. So be very careful. After it’s been passed successfully you can breathe. Now that doesn’t mean you stop, because the race isn’t yet over. So what do you do in the meantime? You rest. You rest, and you stay ready. Ready to run again when it gets passed back to you. The people you run your race to play a significant part in your success. They help determine whether you win or you lose so choose wisely. Run your race. Know what you are running towards. Get teammates with the same vision/ focus. Know what part of the race you are in and be ready.

Confessions of a single mom

#Him

#Abandoned but not alone

I wonder sometimes if you’re happy with your decision. To just up and leave. I wonder if you think of us. Or at least her. I wonder if you have a conscience at all or is your heart made of stone. Or you blinded by your own selfishness. Or, just too damn cruel to give a shit. I look at our daughter and she’s so much like you. How could you not want to see her after all you’ve said? Maybe they were all lies. Just empty words instead. I think of all the hard times we’ve faced. And how easier it would have been if you stuck around and did your share. But I’m not mad cause this road has taught me some important life lessons. People aren’t always what they say. Life sucks. It’s downright messy. You’re going to fall and fall so damn hard. Sometimes you’ll be down and have no clue how to get up. You’ll try and try and nothing will work. Then one day God will give you a break. You’ll find the strength you didn’t know existed. You’ll be judged, looked down upon. Isolated, feel less than. You’ll have hungry days and lonely nights. Days of the Great Depression. But you’ll also have some unexpected moments of pure bliss. Your kid will surprise you in so many ways. They will love you like you never or expected and it will all make sense. How can you leave us? That I can never answer. But that road my friend is for you alone. I’ve chosen mine and so have you. Mine is tough and yours might be too. Are you happy? No doubt you are. I am too and so is she. And that’s all that truly matters. All the rest is just life lessons and learning experiences. Maybe one day we get to meet up and talk about the different paths we walked. Until then I won’t waste another minute on what ifs.

What now?!

That relationship you thought would last is now over. That career you worked so hard for, not as rewarding as you’d hoped. That child you’ve been praying for still haven’t shown up. You’re all prayed out and the bills keep piling. No more tears, but they still keep flowing. You worry and you pray, but nothing hasn’t changed. Is this the end? Where do you go? What do you do? What now? Now that it’s all collapsed. Now that your biggest fear is your reality. I don’t have the answers, but there’s one thing I can guarantee you. Take a deep breathe and know it’ll be ok. You’ll be ok. Doesn’t seem like it now, but I PROMISE you that nasty storm will pass. Will it be quick? Probably not. It can rage on for years. It will get brutal, to say the least. If you think you’re done yet just you wait. And I know, I know… I’m not supposed to be saying this. You’re not here for this. But let you tell you something, sweetheart. Someone got to tell you. I wish I had known that earlier myself. I would have had strength, courage, and way more hope in my stormy time. But listen, the fact that you’re here reading this far means you’ve still got some fight left inside of you. It’s not over yet. It’s not too late. You’re still fighting. You still got hope, courage, strength. All the things you’ll need to keep on going. And that right there is what will determine what you’ll make of this. I can tell you all the stuff you want to hear. Things you’re searching for. But the truth is none of that will prepare you for what is to come. You don’t get strong by hearing fluffy words. And fighting with pillows. You get strong by being knocked out, beat on, forgotten, but still have enough in you to get back up and keep trying. You better toughen up and wipe your nose. Cry, kick, scream, but GET UP!! Yes, life took a turn for the worse. You did not see it coming, but it’s okay. You got this. You’ll win, you will see it through my friend. Now what? I’ll tell you. Now you fight. Fight hard. Now you change, now you try. Now you do! There is a song I like to listen called “conqueror” and the lyrics in it that I cling to says:

Got a vision that no one else sees
Lot of dirty work, roll up your sleeves
Remember there’s a war out there
So come prepared to fight!

Let those words season in your spirit and you start fighting! Chin up! You’ll be alright.

The real deal

Being me is not all it’s cracked up to be. I tell jokes. I cheer people up. I listen and give advise when it’s needed and I always try to be a shoulder in the time of need. My mental strength is truly amazing. My perspective is one like no other. I’m open minded as I can be and my resilience is so strong that it sometimes scares me. It scares me because sometimes I won’t ask for help. I’ll do it all myself because somehow I’ve trained my mind to think that being strong means being there for others and not having others be there for me. I tell people it’s ok to cry and let your emotions run wild for a while but whenever I try I have the hardest time. I listen to stories and I never dare try to judge because I try to put myself in each situation. But do I dare share mine? Of course not! If I show people I’m human and I too need to breathe will they trust that I’m strong enough to help with their needs? Is it ok to put my guards down? Show my scars and tell them I bleed? Or is that too much for them to receive?

Strong people are humans too. And often times are the ones who hurt the most. They are there for everyone except the person that needs it the most, themselves. So, to all you warriors out there fighting for others to feel love, safe, and at ease. I beg you to take sometime to cater to your own needs. Get an outlet to channel all your emotions, passion and dream. Being strong doesn’t mean you can never be weak. It’s ok to have doubts, to fall down, and to need a hand. In this thing called life we all will need someone to confide in, to hold us and tell us just to be. And if they judge you for it then that’s ok. It’s a reflection of them and what they really lack, sincerity, honesty, and just being real. The world needs more authenticity and genuine hearts. We have enough fake ones that make things really hard. Be who you are and be proud and strong. Own your right to be strong, but never deny yourself the opportunity to break. Because when you break you can recreated something bigger, better, and way more beautiful than you could ever imagine. Be brave, be proud, be strong, be human! Be you!!