This one I’m going to jump right into.. As women, we tend to struggle a lot in this area. most time when we find ourselves into a new relationship we are usually the first one to figure out the direction in which it is headed. This can be credited to our amaaazzzzing woman’s intuition. Yayyy us!!! This can be a good thing. However, sometimes we might be jumping the gun just a tad bit early and this is where impatience breathes in. This can quickly become problematic for numerous reasons.
For one, we start to treat the person differently for something they haven’t even done. mmmm. Two, it robs the relationship of its current joy and spontaneity. And three, it creates false hope and unrealistic expectations. Dramatic gasp.
Women are emotional creatures by nature. Most of what we do stems from our moods and how we are feeling. The way we feel directly affects the people around us. And if we are not careful we can start to act in a manner that is not attractive to our partners. As a result, this may delay the direction of said relationship as well as change it altogether. So, now you are upset because you expected him to propose in a couple of months and he didn’t because you have been acting up lately and he believes that something has changed. Men do NOT think like us. He will NOT assume you are upset because he did not propose like YOU were expecting him to. And now you are even more upset. You start to ASSUME he doesn’t love you and you start to question everything he has ever said or done and guess what? ! Resentment starts to creep in. See how crazy that can get? now before it gets to all that let me tell you what you can do instead
- Go with the flow of your realationship. Yes, I spelled that incorrectly on purpose. When we say the word relationship we need to make sure we are being real. This means having realistic expectations of ourselves and others. Many times the people we are dating need time to learn how to share their space, their thoughts, and their emotions with someone new. And we need that time as well. Forcing them to move at a pace that is not comfortable for them is a big no-no.
- Don’t overshare. I say this very heavily. What I realize is that often times we are okay with what we have until of course someone else tries to convince us otherwise. Yes, your bestie knows every mark on your body as well as how often you poop. However, an intimate relationship should be only between the people involved. No one else needs to know all the details.
- Don’t be fooled by social media or the internet. This one might the hardest for many. simply because we are easily influenced whether we know it or not. Sometimes we start feeling differently about something and if we were able to check our subconscious we would be able to see exactly where it stems from. Unfortunately, we are not so lucky so we just have to be cautious instead. Our moods can quickly change just from looking at a meme, a post your friend made. Even songs, movies, and books can affect our perspective. Which bring me to my next point.
- Be very careful about where you get your relationship advice. Not everyone wants to see you happy. We are humans. We get jealous and we are not always honest. It is just that simple. We also do not think or feel the same way about others. Your friend might not like the person you are interested in and that’s ok they are not dating them, you are. And don’t try to convince yourself otherwise accept it and move on.
- Last, but not least. COMMUNICATE. This is so important and so underutilized. If you decide to ignore everything I’ve mentioned up until this point, that ok. There is nothing that effective communication cannot resolve. and often times if we just communicate openly to our partner things would get resolved a lot faster. Just do it! all day every day. Talk their ears off. Let them know how you are feeling and stop all these crazy assumptions. It is unhealthy.
That is all I have for you today, so, until next time. Keep being you. Be kind. Use nice words and be goofy. Life is too important to be taken seriously.