Strength

Strength is such a misunderstood word. When we hear that word we think unbreakable, but to me, strength means something else. You can cry and still be strong. You can ask for help and still be strong. You can take a minute to let yourself fall apart and STILL be strong. In fact, I believe all those things are what make us stronger. Sometimes the things or the way we do things are no longer beneficial to us and it’s ok to acknowledge and change that. It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to not know. It’s ok to not have it all figured out. Strength comes in many forms. And doing the things that don’t necessarily seem strong in other’s eyes are the very things that make you stronger and better in your own life.

So, today if you need a little more strength look deep within and I bet you’ll realize that you are way stronger than you thought you were. Happy hump day beautiful people. Only 2 workdays to go! ✊🏽💪🏼

Peace

Good morning beautiful people. As the holiday draws closer the word anxiety seems to be the list. Anxiety from many different things such as work, travels, providing for our family, health. Etc. Whatever it is that you got you worried try not to stress. Today’s reminder to you all is to peace.

Peace to trust that everything will work out ok. Peace to know you are doing your best in whatever situation you are in and that is enough. An anxious mind and a worried heart bring nothing but frustration and chaos. So, as we set the tone in our households and at work let us first set it in our minds and our hearts by giving ourselves some much-needed peace of mind.

You can’t give what you don’t have and the people we encounter on the daily draw from our energy. Let us radiate nothing but good vibes and positive thoughts. Have a good day y’all. Be blessed and stress less.

Don’t give up!

I stood in the kitchen fixing my morning breakfast and suddenly the words to this song that I LOVE popped up in my mind. For those who don’t know me, music speaks volumes to my soul. Its how I get my inspiration. If you ever want to know what mood I’m in just pay attention to what I’m listening to. Anyways, as the lyrics play out in my mind my purpose instantly became clear. Now I don’t know about anybody else.. but as for me. I’ve already decided that 2020 is going to be my year. Radical changes are going to happen in MY life because I plan on making them happen. I had some plans that I’ve already started working on in 2019 that I’m planning on finishing in 2020. I call it vision 2020 🙌🏾😍
The reason I’m so hyped about this song is this. I’ve been trying to rearrange some stuff around to fit my dreams into my life. Because it came clear to be in 2019 that I have to be the one to create the life I want to live. And as a woman, a mother, an employee, and now a wife. My roles and responsibilities are tremendously high. And it can be hard at times to keep those dreams alive and act on them. However, I’ve decided that this year I’m going to make time to have my dreams come to life. Because my dreams are not just about me. They are about my daughter, my nieces, my nephews, my sisters, my friends, and everyone who I come in contact with. They are a legacy waiting to be birth. And it’s time I birth them. This post isn’t me bragging about my plans. This post is me challenging EVERYONE reading this to do the same. BIRTH your dreams. Make time to fulfill your calling. You never know who might be watching you and following in your footsteps. Make 2020 be YOUR vision year also!!! You can do it!!! Go back to school, lose the weight, start that new job, open your business, write a book. Whatever plans you had on the back burner, bring them forward, Now!!!! 🗣🗣🗣
Now I’m going to tag some of my go-getters. And y’all can tag your go-getters. Let’s end 2019 with lots of hope and let’s own 2020!!
Before I go let me share these lyrics with y’all cause I feel like they the bomb. Enjoy! And be blessed!! 🤗
“Visions that can change the world
Trapped inside an ordinary girl
She looks just like me
Too afraid to dream out loud
… And though it’s set for your idea
It won’t make sense to everybody
You need courage now
If you’re going to persevere
… To fulfill your divine purpose
You’ve gotta answer when you’re called
So don’t be afraid to face the world
Against all odds
… Keep the dream alive don’t let it die if something deep inside
Keeps inspiring you to try, don’t stop
And never give up; don’t ever give up on you
Don’t give up”
Yolanda Adams never_give_up✊🏽

Resilient or not??

Resilience. What sets us apart? The great debate between nature vs nature has summed it all up under two umbrellas. But… what if there are factors we have yet to consider? Factors that should not be summed up as one but explored as individual factors. Factors such as beliefs, mindset, and willpower. Maybe it’s not a nature vs nature debate. Maybe, it’s factors, age, maturity, and perspective. Maybe it’s what we want and how hard we are willing to fight for it. Maybe we are made differently, obviously. Our DNS’s are different. We experience the world differently. We are raised and taught differently. Our circumstances are different, our reactions are different. They are individualized according to who we are. So why is it that we sum up the most important if questions with just two answers, when the answer itself changes, varies, and is tricky. Are we taught resilience? Do we grow into it? Are we born predisposed? Absolutely! But that’s not enough. Some of us do learn, and some never do. But why? What makes it so hard. Is life more unfair to some? Or is it simply how we see and experience it that shapes the outcome? I believe so. I think mindset and will power are two of the most important qualities needed for resilience. But how do we get them? As we grow. As we experience. As we live. As we do. And coping skills also play a huge part. We learn to cope in different ways. Some people write, some people sing. Some of us smoke, drink, or simply ignore. None of which is right or wrong only said individual can determine what works and what doesn’t. It becomes right or wrong if it’s not working and is actually causing said person more harm than good. Resilience is tricky. And it changes. We may even call it different things. But truth be told, we are all resilient in different ways. Some just find it sooner than others and some have a little more than others according to their circumstances. So, the next time you are feeling a little defeated and you think “man I wish I was as resilient as that person” just look yourself in the eye and say “damn it I am”. You got this! You can overcome and you will. Think back to a time when you were a complete badass and own that feeling. You’ll be just fine, I promise! Dig deep, believe, and get it done. I believe in you!

Master reset

Time. The one thing we can’t seem to get enough of. Yet we never seem to know how to make the most of. Timing, the teaser of it all. It shows up with unexpected things like pain, regret, doubts, and a bunch of what ifs. We never seem to know if we are getting it right or not. We go with the flow as best as we can. Until the flow stops and we are forced to reconsider. To question, to try again. And Dear Ole Time seems to always be the center of it all. Our dreams and life goals are set on a time schedule of when we think we ought to accomplish them. But what when Dear Ole Time says otherwise? Do we scramble around in panic mode? Do we question our worth, our effort, and all our other accomplishments? What if the thing you wanted the most don’t show up when you expected it to? Did Dear Ole Mister Time rob you once more?

The answer is no! Things rarely go accordingly to plan. Life is tricky and it’s constantly changing. As players in this game adaptability will be our greatest friend. We have to learn to let go and stop getting stuck on how we believe things ought to be. We are no master of time, that is not our job. We can set dreams, make goals, and work towards them. But never ever get bent out of shape if they start to change. If the timing is haywire then just try to keep up. Don’t question all you’ve done. You worked extremely hard to get where you are and that was no easy feat. The timing of it all doesn’t seem to pan out accordingly, but that doesn’t mean you have to call it off entirely. Sometimes we just need to take a minute to reset, reevaluate, and reflect on what is to come. Because sometimes Mister Timing has something far more exciting waiting for you. ❤️

Race of life

For the last couple of months, I’ve been struggling with something. And I can just now sum it up to this “know the importance of your race”. Know when you need to slow down, speed up, and when to tag off. Notice I said off, not out. This is important. See, what I realize is most of us is running a race. It’s called the race of life. Some are running at a faster pace than others, and that’s cool. They may have started earlier or they have a shorter race. But for me, I believe I’m running a marathon. And not just any marathon. I have teammates. So it’s more like a relay. There are some parts of life where you have to run alone for long periods. This is when you are being tested. Your endurance, your mindset, your very character. Do you want it bad enough to keep going? Then there are times where you can run slow. Things are going at a nice steady pace. You got some cruising time. Traffic seems light and everything is flowing just right. Enjoy these times. They are boosters. Reserve your energy because you will need it for the next round. The round where you have to go faster. Things have picked up and are moving rapidly. Sometimes you feel like you are lost in the shuffle. Everybody seems to have run ahead of you. And you start to wonder about whether or not you can keep up. Keep going. You’ll be just fine. Now, this is the part most don’t talk about. Maybe because we don’t do it often enough, tag off. This is one of the important parts of a race. Whether you are handing off or receiving you have to pay close attention so the battalion doesn’t fall. If it does, you are out plain and simple. So be very careful. After it’s been passed successfully you can breathe. Now that doesn’t mean you stop, because the race isn’t yet over. So what do you do in the meantime? You rest. You rest, and you stay ready. Ready to run again when it gets passed back to you. The people you run your race to play a significant part in your success. They help determine whether you win or you lose so choose wisely. Run your race. Know what you are running towards. Get teammates with the same vision/ focus. Know what part of the race you are in and be ready.

The singletons

”Be patient. It’ll come. Just you wait and see.” So they all say. Or my favorite cliché of all “you know when you know” I won’t even begin to unpack how unsettling and far off that is. Not today anyway. But I’m curious though. What if it never comes. At least not the way we expect. Let me be bias here for a second just to say I wholeheartedly believe that some people are here on this earth to be alone. Scientifically speaking, there’s not even women to men ratio for everyone to be equally matched anyways. And that’s okay. For not everyone wants to be. Believe it or not some people are happy to be single. And no, they are not always lonely. Being alone and being lonely are two different things. If you don’t believe go check your dear friend google. And here’s another shocker. Some very successful people were alone. Sir Issac Newton, Florence Nightingale, Nikola Tesla, and even our beloved Oprah just to name a few. These people are brilliant. I could name a couple more or list you all the benefits of being alone, but that’s a blog for another day. My point is don’t assume that people who are single are unhappy. Or missing out. Some may be, but the others are just fine.
Love in itself is hard to explain and impossible to quantify. Love means different things to different people. It can be experienced in so many different ways. Reading a book, listening to your favorite song, or taking a hike. Whatever it is that gets your blood pumping and stops your mind from wandering too far. Some get butterflies, some get a spark, some get indigestion. Lol. Whoops!
We place far too much emphasis on romantic situations and not nearly enough on what feeds our souls, drives our passion, and give us complete satisfaction. Yes, it’s great to have life partners, friends, families, etc. But love is not one size fits all. And I believe the universe gives us the love we need that best suits us. Some people crave family and stability because they never experienced that as a child. Some want a big family because they grew up in one and enjoyed it greatly. While others may choose to not have children for many different reasons. And that’s ok too. Whatever the path we choose love can be found in all of it. As long as we bare in mind that life is tricky. Not everything in our lives is forever. Our loved ones may die. Families can sometimes fall apart. And dreams sometimes fall short. That’s life. That’s why we must cherish every moment as if it’s our last because it very well might be. And don’t rush into things. Enjoy however long the universe allows us to have something without all the pressure and heavy expectations. Look at it with the eyes of admiration and bliss. And nothing less. And to those who just don’t know where you fit into all this just know not knowing doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means you still have time to figure it out. To search. To wonder, to question.
If beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, so can love. If you love that job then keep doing it. Love that car? Take care if it. Love having children? Long as you taking care of them it’s fine. Nobody’s business but your own. Just don’t lose focus and don’t compare. Don’t feel intimated by the pressure around you. You don’t need someone to make you happy. Or to feel complete. Because that which you think you are lacking can only be fulfilled by you. If someone does make you happy and whole it’s because you let them. You accepted whatever love they offered. And you can do the same on your own. So, to the lady that doesn’t want kids, it’s ok. To the man in no rush to settle down, that’s cool. And to the young adult who hasn’t yet figured it out, don’t worry about it. And to you, the older version of me. With the life plans ready to go, I see you. I get it. And that’s cool too. Live your life on your own terms. Love to your heart’s content. Whether it’s a dog, a motorcycle, or a food that you just can’t get enough of. No shame. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Own it. Like Ruben Studdard said “who can deny the joy it brings, when you find that special thing. You’re flying without wings”.
Take care. Love hard

Confessions of a single mom

#Him

#Abandoned but not alone

I wonder sometimes if you’re happy with your decision. To just up and leave. I wonder if you think of us. Or at least her. I wonder if you have a conscience at all or is your heart made of stone. Or you blinded by your own selfishness. Or, just too damn cruel to give a shit. I look at our daughter and she’s so much like you. How could you not want to see her after all you’ve said? Maybe they were all lies. Just empty words instead. I think of all the hard times we’ve faced. And how easier it would have been if you stuck around and did your share. But I’m not mad cause this road has taught me some important life lessons. People aren’t always what they say. Life sucks. It’s downright messy. You’re going to fall and fall so damn hard. Sometimes you’ll be down and have no clue how to get up. You’ll try and try and nothing will work. Then one day God will give you a break. You’ll find the strength you didn’t know existed. You’ll be judged, looked down upon. Isolated, feel less than. You’ll have hungry days and lonely nights. Days of the Great Depression. But you’ll also have some unexpected moments of pure bliss. Your kid will surprise you in so many ways. They will love you like you never or expected and it will all make sense. How can you leave us? That I can never answer. But that road my friend is for you alone. I’ve chosen mine and so have you. Mine is tough and yours might be too. Are you happy? No doubt you are. I am too and so is she. And that’s all that truly matters. All the rest is just life lessons and learning experiences. Maybe one day we get to meet up and talk about the different paths we walked. Until then I won’t waste another minute on what ifs.

Love not nails

Sometimes we worry more about our Christian image than we do people. We don’t want to talk to that person because they look, talk, and believe different than you. They don’t dress the same. They may cuss a little. And we act as though we will be unequally yolked if we associate with them. Let me clear something up. Jesus had to be unequally yolked to save us. Don’t you ever forget where you were when the grace found you. Not everyone that needs to hear the word will be found in the church or a bible study meeting. They will be in the club, they will be on the corner. They will cuss. They will look differently and that’s ok. Jesus died for ALL of us. And this doesn’t give us a free pass to go around condemning people and telling them what we think they ought to do and believe. We are called to love them. You let the Holy Spirit do the conviction. Pray, love, carry on.

What now?!

That relationship you thought would last is now over. That career you worked so hard for, not as rewarding as you’d hoped. That child you’ve been praying for still haven’t shown up. You’re all prayed out and the bills keep piling. No more tears, but they still keep flowing. You worry and you pray, but nothing hasn’t changed. Is this the end? Where do you go? What do you do? What now? Now that it’s all collapsed. Now that your biggest fear is your reality. I don’t have the answers, but there’s one thing I can guarantee you. Take a deep breathe and know it’ll be ok. You’ll be ok. Doesn’t seem like it now, but I PROMISE you that nasty storm will pass. Will it be quick? Probably not. It can rage on for years. It will get brutal, to say the least. If you think you’re done yet just you wait. And I know, I know… I’m not supposed to be saying this. You’re not here for this. But let you tell you something, sweetheart. Someone got to tell you. I wish I had known that earlier myself. I would have had strength, courage, and way more hope in my stormy time. But listen, the fact that you’re here reading this far means you’ve still got some fight left inside of you. It’s not over yet. It’s not too late. You’re still fighting. You still got hope, courage, strength. All the things you’ll need to keep on going. And that right there is what will determine what you’ll make of this. I can tell you all the stuff you want to hear. Things you’re searching for. But the truth is none of that will prepare you for what is to come. You don’t get strong by hearing fluffy words. And fighting with pillows. You get strong by being knocked out, beat on, forgotten, but still have enough in you to get back up and keep trying. You better toughen up and wipe your nose. Cry, kick, scream, but GET UP!! Yes, life took a turn for the worse. You did not see it coming, but it’s okay. You got this. You’ll win, you will see it through my friend. Now what? I’ll tell you. Now you fight. Fight hard. Now you change, now you try. Now you do! There is a song I like to listen called “conqueror” and the lyrics in it that I cling to says:

Got a vision that no one else sees
Lot of dirty work, roll up your sleeves
Remember there’s a war out there
So come prepared to fight!

Let those words season in your spirit and you start fighting! Chin up! You’ll be alright.