Still there..

We wake up and everything feels so normal to some that we sometimes forget the chaos that is currently in the world. There are some who are still able to go to work because they have “essential jobs. Some daycare are still open and many are still able to go outside for a walk and even to the grocery store without any issues. We take the precautionary measures we hear are necessary but sometimes we ask ourselves if this is really necessary. Everything seems normal, at least on our end. Everyone is healthy and no one you know is directly affected. So, you start to think maybe it’s not so bad. “What’s the worse thing that can happen?” You ask yourself. You start to get less and less cautious thinking you’ve got this under control. But let me stop you right there!

DO NOT think because your life may still be normal right now mean it will remain that way without being careful. DO NOT think because no one you know is directing affected right now mean thousands are not currently suffering. Everything was normal for them too just before their lives were abruptly changed. DO NOT take your peace for granted and risk your loved ones getting exposed. Health can change in the blink of an eye. DO wash your hands, DO sanitized and clean frequently. STILL take your vitamins. Stay home unless you absolutely need to go outside. DO keep your kids home even if they are driving you crazy. It’s better for them to do that than for you to watch them fight for their lives.

This virus is SERIOUS. It can KILL. Don’t compare it to other diseases. Take it for what it is, a threat to us all. No one is exempt for certain. Do everything in your power to keep your family safe. It is better to be overly protective than not doing enough. Take this time to work on goals. Take up a new hobby. Start a new tradition. The more we try to enjoy our time, the quicker it will go by. Be safe. Take it easy and do your part to help health the world. ❤️

Sundazes

  • Sundays are such a blessing. It’s the start of a brand new week. It’s a day of complete and utter relaxation for some. And for others, it can be about work or getting ready for work. Whatever you use your Sundays for I hope that it is truly beneficial for you. Here are some simple tips to help you maximize your Sundays.
  • The first is, be strategic. Sundays generally set the tone for your upcoming week. In my house, this normally means finishing up any house chores that we won’t normally get time for during the busy work week. It also means taking a minute to breathe and regroup. Use your Sundays to find the most challenging thing about your week and get it taken care of if you can. For example, my husband and I alternate the days we pick up and drop off our 4-year-old from school. On the days he has to get her she also has dance class. So, I’ve pre-packed her dance bag, put her shoes and her clothes in an area he can find it. I also make snack options for her. I set out her outfit for the week and I get her hair combed so this way he will have fewer tasks to do and picking her up and caring for her can go smoothly for him. Another thing I do is I pick out outfits for myself as well and clean out and repack my work bag. We also do meal prep for the week. This is a great way for me and him to connect and to spend time together while getting things done. This also helps him be more aware of what is going on in the household and be in the know. We do our meal prep in bigger portions as well. We both eat a lot so we do enough that will last for two days and will allow me to take some to work for lunch. This is called saving time and money. Chi Ching! Doing these things will elevate so much anxiety from our week.

    My next tip is to be mindful and intentional. When I wake up in the mornings I make myself a list of things I need to get done for the day then I take a second the plan enough time around these things. This helps me to know exactly what my day will look like. Great organizing skill to have. During these tasks, I’ve also scheduled Mini downtime so that I’m doing more while stressing less. This will take a lot of trial on your part as there are things that you can’t always plan for. What I do is I give some tasks some extra time. For example, if I’m folding clothes that I know will normally be a 20-minute task Id schedule myself 30 for 45 minutes. If I finish before that then great. If my child happens to need a snack or needs me to play with her then I can without feeling like I need to rush off to the next thing.

    Bonus for parents. Let your littles help you. This is a good way for them to spend time with you while they also learn to be independent. You can make it a fun teachable moment. Yes, they might slow you down but it will benefit them in a great way. Talk about two birds with one stone.

    And my last tip is, relax!!! I cannot emphasize this enough. I know some might be thinking that they have a lot to do, and you might. BUT during all those tasks you need to find time to breathe and relax. If you don’t, then all of what you are doing will be for nothing. If you aren’t careful those very tasks can add more stress and anxiety to you than you realize. Remember, that we will always have tasks to complete. The trick is for us to complete those tasks in a way that helps us feel productive rather than overworked and drained.

    Take time to pamper yourself. Buy a facial mask for $2 at the store, and take a bubble bath. Read a book, or watch an episode of a show you like. The simplest of things can add so much value to your day. One thing I do is get ready for the day. Normally on Sundays I’ve decided in my mind I’ll be home all day so I don’t put any effort in combing my hair or even get out of Pajamas. God forbid someone stops by or I have to run to the store. I’ll get so annoyed because now I’ll have to put in extra time to get ready. Now, I wake up and I comb my hair and get dressed. Even if I have nowhere to be. This way, if I feel like taking a walk because I realize it’s a beautiful day I’m all set. This also gets me into the practice of getting up and getting ready which comes in handy during the week.

    Okay, I’ve taken enough of your time already. I truly hope these tips do help you. Please like and share if you find any of this helpful. Also, feel free to comment on ways YOU make the most of your Sunday. Looking forward to your response. Happy Sunday and be blessed.

    Don’t give up!

    I stood in the kitchen fixing my morning breakfast and suddenly the words to this song that I LOVE popped up in my mind. For those who don’t know me, music speaks volumes to my soul. Its how I get my inspiration. If you ever want to know what mood I’m in just pay attention to what I’m listening to. Anyways, as the lyrics play out in my mind my purpose instantly became clear. Now I don’t know about anybody else.. but as for me. I’ve already decided that 2020 is going to be my year. Radical changes are going to happen in MY life because I plan on making them happen. I had some plans that I’ve already started working on in 2019 that I’m planning on finishing in 2020. I call it vision 2020 🙌🏾😍
    The reason I’m so hyped about this song is this. I’ve been trying to rearrange some stuff around to fit my dreams into my life. Because it came clear to be in 2019 that I have to be the one to create the life I want to live. And as a woman, a mother, an employee, and now a wife. My roles and responsibilities are tremendously high. And it can be hard at times to keep those dreams alive and act on them. However, I’ve decided that this year I’m going to make time to have my dreams come to life. Because my dreams are not just about me. They are about my daughter, my nieces, my nephews, my sisters, my friends, and everyone who I come in contact with. They are a legacy waiting to be birth. And it’s time I birth them. This post isn’t me bragging about my plans. This post is me challenging EVERYONE reading this to do the same. BIRTH your dreams. Make time to fulfill your calling. You never know who might be watching you and following in your footsteps. Make 2020 be YOUR vision year also!!! You can do it!!! Go back to school, lose the weight, start that new job, open your business, write a book. Whatever plans you had on the back burner, bring them forward, Now!!!! 🗣🗣🗣
    Now I’m going to tag some of my go-getters. And y’all can tag your go-getters. Let’s end 2019 with lots of hope and let’s own 2020!!
    Before I go let me share these lyrics with y’all cause I feel like they the bomb. Enjoy! And be blessed!! 🤗
    “Visions that can change the world
    Trapped inside an ordinary girl
    She looks just like me
    Too afraid to dream out loud
    … And though it’s set for your idea
    It won’t make sense to everybody
    You need courage now
    If you’re going to persevere
    … To fulfill your divine purpose
    You’ve gotta answer when you’re called
    So don’t be afraid to face the world
    Against all odds
    … Keep the dream alive don’t let it die if something deep inside
    Keeps inspiring you to try, don’t stop
    And never give up; don’t ever give up on you
    Don’t give up”
    Yolanda Adams never_give_up✊🏽

    Master reset

    Time. The one thing we can’t seem to get enough of. Yet we never seem to know how to make the most of. Timing, the teaser of it all. It shows up with unexpected things like pain, regret, doubts, and a bunch of what ifs. We never seem to know if we are getting it right or not. We go with the flow as best as we can. Until the flow stops and we are forced to reconsider. To question, to try again. And Dear Ole Time seems to always be the center of it all. Our dreams and life goals are set on a time schedule of when we think we ought to accomplish them. But what when Dear Ole Time says otherwise? Do we scramble around in panic mode? Do we question our worth, our effort, and all our other accomplishments? What if the thing you wanted the most don’t show up when you expected it to? Did Dear Ole Mister Time rob you once more?

    The answer is no! Things rarely go accordingly to plan. Life is tricky and it’s constantly changing. As players in this game adaptability will be our greatest friend. We have to learn to let go and stop getting stuck on how we believe things ought to be. We are no master of time, that is not our job. We can set dreams, make goals, and work towards them. But never ever get bent out of shape if they start to change. If the timing is haywire then just try to keep up. Don’t question all you’ve done. You worked extremely hard to get where you are and that was no easy feat. The timing of it all doesn’t seem to pan out accordingly, but that doesn’t mean you have to call it off entirely. Sometimes we just need to take a minute to reset, reevaluate, and reflect on what is to come. Because sometimes Mister Timing has something far more exciting waiting for you. ❤️

    What if??

    Do you know what it’s like to have a song on replay for days at a time because the lyrics resonate so deep in your soul? Or trying to convince yourself that’s it’s no longer worth the pain to put yourself out there. To believe that not everyone was not meant to find someone. Mmmm well, what if they weren’t? What if I tell you that not everyone will find someone? What if I tell you that the only person you truly need is yourself and self-love is the purest and most desired? Sounds cliche I know. But really it is as simple and straight forward as that. The sad part is, only a few have truly grasped the concept of self-love. Only some find real happiness in spending quality time trying to figure out who they truly are. And not very many know what they really want or is bold enough to demand or seek it. Just think how different the world would be if women were less self-conscious and men weren’t expected to show real genuine emotions. If gender roles, stereotypes and double standards were nothing but a thing of the past. If society didn’t try to sell us on what exactly an appropriate and happy lifestyle is. Now I’m not saying we don’t need general rules like stop light and brakes. Don’t get too crazy now. I’m saying if people weren’t sold into these lies and illusions about how to live THIER lives then the world would be a much better place.

    Race of life

    For the last couple of months, I’ve been struggling with something. And I can just now sum it up to this “know the importance of your race”. Know when you need to slow down, speed up, and when to tag off. Notice I said off, not out. This is important. See, what I realize is most of us is running a race. It’s called the race of life. Some are running at a faster pace than others, and that’s cool. They may have started earlier or they have a shorter race. But for me, I believe I’m running a marathon. And not just any marathon. I have teammates. So it’s more like a relay. There are some parts of life where you have to run alone for long periods. This is when you are being tested. Your endurance, your mindset, your very character. Do you want it bad enough to keep going? Then there are times where you can run slow. Things are going at a nice steady pace. You got some cruising time. Traffic seems light and everything is flowing just right. Enjoy these times. They are boosters. Reserve your energy because you will need it for the next round. The round where you have to go faster. Things have picked up and are moving rapidly. Sometimes you feel like you are lost in the shuffle. Everybody seems to have run ahead of you. And you start to wonder about whether or not you can keep up. Keep going. You’ll be just fine. Now, this is the part most don’t talk about. Maybe because we don’t do it often enough, tag off. This is one of the important parts of a race. Whether you are handing off or receiving you have to pay close attention so the battalion doesn’t fall. If it does, you are out plain and simple. So be very careful. After it’s been passed successfully you can breathe. Now that doesn’t mean you stop, because the race isn’t yet over. So what do you do in the meantime? You rest. You rest, and you stay ready. Ready to run again when it gets passed back to you. The people you run your race to play a significant part in your success. They help determine whether you win or you lose so choose wisely. Run your race. Know what you are running towards. Get teammates with the same vision/ focus. Know what part of the race you are in and be ready.

    The singletons

    ”Be patient. It’ll come. Just you wait and see.” So they all say. Or my favorite cliché of all “you know when you know” I won’t even begin to unpack how unsettling and far off that is. Not today anyway. But I’m curious though. What if it never comes. At least not the way we expect. Let me be bias here for a second just to say I wholeheartedly believe that some people are here on this earth to be alone. Scientifically speaking, there’s not even women to men ratio for everyone to be equally matched anyways. And that’s okay. For not everyone wants to be. Believe it or not some people are happy to be single. And no, they are not always lonely. Being alone and being lonely are two different things. If you don’t believe go check your dear friend google. And here’s another shocker. Some very successful people were alone. Sir Issac Newton, Florence Nightingale, Nikola Tesla, and even our beloved Oprah just to name a few. These people are brilliant. I could name a couple more or list you all the benefits of being alone, but that’s a blog for another day. My point is don’t assume that people who are single are unhappy. Or missing out. Some may be, but the others are just fine.
    Love in itself is hard to explain and impossible to quantify. Love means different things to different people. It can be experienced in so many different ways. Reading a book, listening to your favorite song, or taking a hike. Whatever it is that gets your blood pumping and stops your mind from wandering too far. Some get butterflies, some get a spark, some get indigestion. Lol. Whoops!
    We place far too much emphasis on romantic situations and not nearly enough on what feeds our souls, drives our passion, and give us complete satisfaction. Yes, it’s great to have life partners, friends, families, etc. But love is not one size fits all. And I believe the universe gives us the love we need that best suits us. Some people crave family and stability because they never experienced that as a child. Some want a big family because they grew up in one and enjoyed it greatly. While others may choose to not have children for many different reasons. And that’s ok too. Whatever the path we choose love can be found in all of it. As long as we bare in mind that life is tricky. Not everything in our lives is forever. Our loved ones may die. Families can sometimes fall apart. And dreams sometimes fall short. That’s life. That’s why we must cherish every moment as if it’s our last because it very well might be. And don’t rush into things. Enjoy however long the universe allows us to have something without all the pressure and heavy expectations. Look at it with the eyes of admiration and bliss. And nothing less. And to those who just don’t know where you fit into all this just know not knowing doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means you still have time to figure it out. To search. To wonder, to question.
    If beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, so can love. If you love that job then keep doing it. Love that car? Take care if it. Love having children? Long as you taking care of them it’s fine. Nobody’s business but your own. Just don’t lose focus and don’t compare. Don’t feel intimated by the pressure around you. You don’t need someone to make you happy. Or to feel complete. Because that which you think you are lacking can only be fulfilled by you. If someone does make you happy and whole it’s because you let them. You accepted whatever love they offered. And you can do the same on your own. So, to the lady that doesn’t want kids, it’s ok. To the man in no rush to settle down, that’s cool. And to the young adult who hasn’t yet figured it out, don’t worry about it. And to you, the older version of me. With the life plans ready to go, I see you. I get it. And that’s cool too. Live your life on your own terms. Love to your heart’s content. Whether it’s a dog, a motorcycle, or a food that you just can’t get enough of. No shame. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Own it. Like Ruben Studdard said “who can deny the joy it brings, when you find that special thing. You’re flying without wings”.
    Take care. Love hard

    Confessions of a single mom

    #Him

    #Abandoned but not alone

    I wonder sometimes if you’re happy with your decision. To just up and leave. I wonder if you think of us. Or at least her. I wonder if you have a conscience at all or is your heart made of stone. Or you blinded by your own selfishness. Or, just too damn cruel to give a shit. I look at our daughter and she’s so much like you. How could you not want to see her after all you’ve said? Maybe they were all lies. Just empty words instead. I think of all the hard times we’ve faced. And how easier it would have been if you stuck around and did your share. But I’m not mad cause this road has taught me some important life lessons. People aren’t always what they say. Life sucks. It’s downright messy. You’re going to fall and fall so damn hard. Sometimes you’ll be down and have no clue how to get up. You’ll try and try and nothing will work. Then one day God will give you a break. You’ll find the strength you didn’t know existed. You’ll be judged, looked down upon. Isolated, feel less than. You’ll have hungry days and lonely nights. Days of the Great Depression. But you’ll also have some unexpected moments of pure bliss. Your kid will surprise you in so many ways. They will love you like you never or expected and it will all make sense. How can you leave us? That I can never answer. But that road my friend is for you alone. I’ve chosen mine and so have you. Mine is tough and yours might be too. Are you happy? No doubt you are. I am too and so is she. And that’s all that truly matters. All the rest is just life lessons and learning experiences. Maybe one day we get to meet up and talk about the different paths we walked. Until then I won’t waste another minute on what ifs.

    The real deal

    Being me is not all it’s cracked up to be. I tell jokes. I cheer people up. I listen and give advise when it’s needed and I always try to be a shoulder in the time of need. My mental strength is truly amazing. My perspective is one like no other. I’m open minded as I can be and my resilience is so strong that it sometimes scares me. It scares me because sometimes I won’t ask for help. I’ll do it all myself because somehow I’ve trained my mind to think that being strong means being there for others and not having others be there for me. I tell people it’s ok to cry and let your emotions run wild for a while but whenever I try I have the hardest time. I listen to stories and I never dare try to judge because I try to put myself in each situation. But do I dare share mine? Of course not! If I show people I’m human and I too need to breathe will they trust that I’m strong enough to help with their needs? Is it ok to put my guards down? Show my scars and tell them I bleed? Or is that too much for them to receive?

    Strong people are humans too. And often times are the ones who hurt the most. They are there for everyone except the person that needs it the most, themselves. So, to all you warriors out there fighting for others to feel love, safe, and at ease. I beg you to take sometime to cater to your own needs. Get an outlet to channel all your emotions, passion and dream. Being strong doesn’t mean you can never be weak. It’s ok to have doubts, to fall down, and to need a hand. In this thing called life we all will need someone to confide in, to hold us and tell us just to be. And if they judge you for it then that’s ok. It’s a reflection of them and what they really lack, sincerity, honesty, and just being real. The world needs more authenticity and genuine hearts. We have enough fake ones that make things really hard. Be who you are and be proud and strong. Own your right to be strong, but never deny yourself the opportunity to break. Because when you break you can recreated something bigger, better, and way more beautiful than you could ever imagine. Be brave, be proud, be strong, be human! Be you!!

    Suicidal note..

    “If you are feeling suicidal please reach out for help” the biggest lie we ever say. People who are suicidal are not going to reach out for help. They’ve reached out countless times before they got to that part. But this cruel cruel world just turns their backs. The love they give and people they’ve helped are nowhere to be found when they need it in return. “Check on your strong friends” we quote so cleverly. But are we actually doing it? Can you tell if your friend is acting off? Do you follow your intuition as they do theirs when to come to your rescue? Suicidal thoughts are fast and strong. Your emotions are numb and your heart has already stopped beating. There’s nothing but overwhelming pain that you want to end. It doesn’t matter how or by whom. You would pay someone to do it if you could. How can you reach out when you don’t want to talk? When you can’t find the words to express the million fake questions that will be thrown at you. And why bother explaining when they won’t even understand. Sometimes death seems so much better than being hurt over and over till you have no more ache to ache.

    Mental health is a crucial part of what makes us whole. And often times so many of us take it for granted, but for some, we aren’t so lucky. We struggle on the daily. We try really hard, but it just never seems like it’s enough. More and more we hear about celebrities who just couldn’t go on any further and we think for a little bit “maybe this is really bad”. But.. instead of doing another hashtag how about making an active difference to do some reading. To call or visit a friend, to take the time to really check in on someone. Sometimes that can make all the difference. And for those who are suffering, I feel you. I’ve been you. I love you, and I care! You are amazing, wonderful, and your life is worthy!!!